Surrogate Partner Therapy in the San Francisco Bay Area

Healing happens in connection, not in isolation.

A practice of structured, supervised intimacy work, held within the IPSA triadic model and in close collaboration with your licensed therapist. The pace is yours. The structure is consistent. The work is real.

Request a Consultation → For Referring Therapists
About the Practice

A practice built on care, structure, and ethical clarity.

My Pleasure Therapy is led by a Surrogate Partner Intern, trained through the International Professional Surrogates Association (IPSA) under the supervision of senior IPSA leadership. The practice serves clients throughout the San Francisco Bay Area.

This work is grounded in a single conviction: intimacy is a skill set. Not a feeling that simply arrives. Not a performance. Not something some people are born knowing. It is a practice of attention, of breath, of letting the body be where it is. And like any practice, it can be learned, returned to, and made one's own. Most of us were never taught it directly. Many were taught the opposite: that curiosity about closeness was inappropriate, that vulnerability was unsafe, that our bodies were something to manage rather than inhabit.

The work of Surrogate Partner Therapy is the work of unlearning those messages, slowly, in a structured therapeutic context. It is met with steadiness, with warmth, and with genuine respect for the courage it takes to begin. Sessions move at the pace the body sets. Nothing is rushed. Nothing is required that has not been agreed to.

Every engagement is conducted within the IPSA triadic model, in active collaboration with the client's licensed supervising therapist. There are no exceptions to this structure.

What is Surrogate Partner Therapy?

Surrogate Partner Therapy is a structured, evidence-informed therapeutic modality for adults working, slowly and with care, through barriers to intimacy, connection, and sexual wellness.

The work is experiential. A trained surrogate partner engages directly with the client in a series of progressive, carefully designed exercises: communication practice, sensate focus, touch desensitization, relational skill-building. These allow the client to develop and integrate new capacities in real time, rather than only discussing them in talk therapy.

Crucially, SPT is never practiced alone. It exists within the triadic model: client, surrogate partner, and licensed supervising therapist work together throughout the entire process. The therapist holds the clinical frame. The surrogate provides the experiential work. The client moves at their own pace.

For clarity
  • SPT is not sex work. It is a regulated therapeutic modality with strict ethical standards through IPSA.
  • SPT is not a replacement for psychotherapy. It complements ongoing clinical work; it does not substitute for it.
  • SPT is not couples therapy. Clients engage individually under their therapist's clinical direction.
  • SPT is not a "quick fix." It is a deliberate process; the timeline reflects the client's goals and readiness.
The body learns what the mind has been told it cannot. Slowly, in the presence of another, it remembers.
A Note on the Work
Services

An integrated therapeutic offering.

Each service is delivered within the triadic model and adapted to the client's goals, as established collaboratively with the supervising therapist.

01

Surrogate Partner Therapy

The core experiential work. Structured sessions held in close coordination with the supervising therapist, designed around the client's goals and unfolding at the pace the body sets.

02

Intimacy Coaching

The practical skills of closeness: speaking and asking, attending to touch, holding one's own ground in moments of vulnerability. Skills that transfer beyond the therapeutic relationship into the relationships ahead.

03

Sensate Focus

The Masters and Johnson protocol: progressive touch exercises that quiet performance, bring attention back to sensation, and rebuild a comfort with physical closeness that is not asked to be anything in particular.

04

Communication Skills

Guided practice in saying what is true, hearing what is offered, and staying present through conversations that have been avoided. The quiet foundation that intimacy rests on.

05

Body Image Work

Therapeutic exercises and reflection that move clients toward inhabiting the body rather than managing it. Toward the kind of self-regard from which closeness with another becomes possible.

06

Social Intimacy

The non-physical dimensions of closeness: emotional vulnerability, the willingness to be seen, the practice of being known. Particularly relevant for clients whose barriers live in connection rather than in touch.

The Approach

What this feels like.

i.

Pace

The body sets the speed. Sessions move slowly, with room to notice, to pause, to begin again. Nothing is asked of the body before it is ready.

ii.

Presence

Attention is the foundation. The work happens not in technique but in the quality of being with another: quiet, warm, attuned, and consistent across every session.

iii.

Structure

Within this softness, the frame is firm. Goals are clear, boundaries are explicit, and the supervising therapist holds the clinical container. Safety is what makes depth possible.

The Process

How it works.

Every client engagement follows a clear, structured arc, designed to ensure safety, alignment, and meaningful therapeutic progress at every stage.

01

Inquiry

The client or their referring therapist makes initial contact through this site or directly by email.

02

Screening

A brief screening call introduces the practice, explores the client's situation, and confirms basic fit.

03

Therapist Match

The supervising therapist is identified or confirmed. No SPT work begins without a confirmed therapist relationship in place.

04

Triadic Intake

Client, surrogate, and supervising therapist meet together. A first conversation that establishes shared understanding and the direction the work will take.

05

Goal Setting

Therapeutic goals are established collaboratively: what the client is moving toward, and how progress will be understood.

06

Sessions

The work itself, held in regular session, moving at the client's pace, with ongoing case consultation between surrogate and supervising therapist.

07

Conclusion

A considered closing, held with the supervising therapist, marks the transition back to exclusive clinical care and the natural end of the surrogate relationship.

What we cannot rush, we can attend to. What we attend to, in time, begins to change.

A trusted collaborator in your clinical work.

My Pleasure Therapy partners with licensed therapists across the Bay Area who recognize the limits of talk-only modalities for certain client presentations. The triadic model is built around your clinical leadership. The experiential work supports, never replaces, the therapeutic frame you hold with your client.

You retain clinical responsibility. Our scope of practice is strictly IPSA-defined. Communication between us is consistent, documented, and built around your client's welfare.

i.

Initial Contact

Submit the referral form below or reach out directly. You'll receive a response within two business days.

ii.

Collaboration Call

A brief call to discuss the client, your clinical questions, and the proposed structure of the triadic engagement.

iii.

Client Consent

Following your client's informed consent to the referral, the triadic intake meeting is scheduled.

iv.

Ongoing Coordination

Regular case consultation throughout the engagement, with shared documentation and clear communication protocols.

Therapist Referral Form

For licensed therapists initiating a referral. All submissions are reviewed personally.

Thank you. Your referral has been received. You will hear back within two business days to begin the collaboration process.

Common Questions

Frequently asked.

What is Surrogate Partner Therapy?

Surrogate Partner Therapy is an experiential therapeutic modality for adults working on barriers to intimacy, connection, and sexual wellness. A trained surrogate partner engages directly with the client in structured exercises (communication practice, sensate focus, touch desensitization, relational skill-building) under the clinical oversight of a licensed supervising therapist. The modality has roots in the work of Masters and Johnson and is currently governed by the IPSA Code of Ethics.

Is SPT legal?

Surrogate Partner Therapy is a legitimate therapeutic modality practiced in the United States and internationally. It is distinct from sex work and is governed by professional ethical standards through organizations such as IPSA and AASECT. My Pleasure Therapy operates fully within these ethical frameworks and in alignment with applicable California professional standards.

Is this the same as sex therapy?

No. Sex therapy is a talk-based clinical modality, typically delivered one-on-one by a licensed therapist. Surrogate Partner Therapy is experiential, meaning the client actively engages in structured exercises with a surrogate partner, and is always part of a triadic model that includes a supervising therapist. The two modalities can complement each other but are not interchangeable.

Who is a good candidate for SPT?

Adults who experience meaningful barriers to intimacy may benefit from SPT. This includes social anxiety affecting closeness, trauma-related avoidance, physical or developmental differences, or significant relational difficulties. Clinical suitability is always assessed by the supervising therapist before any work begins. SPT is not appropriate for every situation, and the screening process is designed to identify good fit.

Do I need a referring therapist?

Yes. Per IPSA Standard 1, all surrogate partner work occurs within the triadic model, which requires an active, licensed supervising therapist. If you do not currently have a therapist, the practice can help connect you with one from a professional network as part of the intake process. No surrogate sessions begin until a supervising therapist relationship is confirmed.

What does the triadic model mean?

The triadic model is the foundational structure of all legitimate SPT. Three parties are always involved: the client, the surrogate partner, and the licensed supervising therapist. The therapist holds the overall clinical frame and treatment direction. The surrogate provides the experiential work. The three communicate consistently throughout the engagement. Surrogate work never occurs outside of this triadic structure.

How much does SPT cost?

Fees are discussed transparently during the initial screening call and documented in writing prior to any engagement. SPT is generally not covered by health insurance, and clients are responsible for all fees. A limited number of sliding-scale slots may be available based on demonstrated need; this can be discussed during screening.

Is everything confidential?

Client confidentiality is treated with the highest standard of professional care, in alignment with HIPAA-adjacent best practices. Information shared in the therapeutic process is shared only with your supervising therapist, as the triadic model requires. No client identifying information is ever used in marketing, public communication, or any external context. The specific limits of confidentiality are explained in detail before any work begins.

How long does the process take?

There is no fixed timeline. The duration of SPT work is determined by the client's goals, readiness, and the clinical direction set with the supervising therapist. Some engagements span a few months; others continue longer. Progress is reviewed regularly throughout the process, and any client may pause or withdraw at any time without consequence.

What professional standards does this practice follow?

My Pleasure Therapy operates in full alignment with the 15-point IPSA Code of Ethics and the AASECT Code of Conduct. The practitioner is an active member of both organizations, an IPSA-trained surrogate partner intern, and is committed to ongoing supervision, continuing education, and ethical professional development. The practice operates strictly within the trained scope and does not perform clinical assessment, diagnosis, or independent psychotherapy.

Get in Touch

Begin a conversation.

Reaching out is often the hardest part. A short message is enough. There is no need to explain everything, or to have the right words ready. Every inquiry is personally reviewed, with a response within two business days.

Send a Message

All inquiries are confidential and personally reviewed.

Thank you for reaching out. You will receive a response within 48 hours.